I went to the bookstore yesterday and spent way too much on artists magazines and a few guitar books, and a fun yearly called "three by three illustration annual". The funky artwork is inspiring.
But I am still in a funk. I definitely have the blues. Is it a let down from the Open Studio event that I worked so hard on? Or maybe the fact that I want to paint but the ideas and will seem elusive, or the fact that I am paying for studio space and I just want to take a nap?
Whatever it is I just have to ride it out. I can force myself to do things but it it actually depresses me more to do things that seem to have no meaning while I wait for the muse to come back to my life. I don't have ideas for drawing class, I have no real income of my own, I don't want to work for someone else unless it is in the arts, I want the weather to be perfect, I want people to like my artwork enogh to at least buy cards or prints. I hate self promotion..it smacks of such commercialism and my work just isn't commercial.....I hate being 5 days away from 57 years old..I want to do what I want..but what is that really?
Patience Girl, I tell myself..all in good time. Now I think I will go out to the sun....