Monday, February 28, 2011

Feb. 28,2011...sigh

Well poor hubby just headed to the doctor's office. He has been calling off sick all week with a chest cold, cough and some dizziness. Of course we clash a bit when he is home longer than 3 days in a row watching the tube and yelling at me. I know he does not feel well. It is a truth that he cannot be home and amongst family or friends longer than 2 days without the need to run away or pick a fight. It has always been this way. I have know him 38 years and been married for 32 next month. I would say it has not been the marriage of the century..we are stubborn creatures. But we make it work. I figure you stay with something because you are getting something out of it..and even if that seems can be that you are getting something very good out of it for both of you. I prefer to think that we have helped each other out over the years. He has been sick with diabetes for several years and now is on insulin which has brought back his funny personality that attracted me to him at first! It has been hidden over years of him not feeling well and continuing to provide. He was a great Dad to the little boys, then not so great as they reached their teens, illness undetected and his usual inability to handle being around people for extended periods of time. I am afraid our sons have not been as forgiving as they see how he has talked to me over the years..but I am no saint I tell them...mistakes on both sides. We are still together, still butting heads, yet somehow it works out for the best. Hopefully he will start to feel better soon and can go back to work..because he needs that structure.
Is this too personal? I hope not..I post it because I know life is not perfect and we must make things work if we can. Other things are simply not going to be controlled by us. It seems long years have gone into figuring out who, what, why and still questions abound.
But we will reach 32 years of marriage and know that we are the only ones in our respective families except for our parents to do so.
I probably should mention that Hubby has lost both his parents and his only brother. He is alone except for I try not to judge too harshly...He is a good man who has lived life!
I will tell you of his many talents..He makes beautiful knives, he creates their leather sheathes and other devices for his buddies at work so they can safely conveniently carry their little flashlights and cell phones. He is a good fisherman! Loves large mouth bass and Walleye and Northern Pike. He has a ton of ideas on how to build or fix things and with humorous results sometimes..things get quirky!
He has always allowed me to be me. Has never tried to control me..maybe realizing what a futile effort that would be. He has been a good cook.
He has always worked hard and loyally for his companies.
He can rewire a house, plumb it, build it and fix it.
We love a road trip..we are so due one! He would drive for hours and we would take the craziest roads..seeing vistas only the coyotes might see!
He has always supported my art.
And he will build a fence and a house for whatever critter I bring home. He happily leaves the brush piles and overgrowth so I can enjoy the wildlife that visits.
So I will give him his 3rd day of crabbiness and beyond..because when it is good it is very good and when it is is tolerable!!!
I will pick a few photos out here..not sure what yet!!!

here we graduation, with hubby and sons, where we love to the mountains!, Hubby, fireworks!!!


  1. La vie parfois nous fait de drôle de farce... parfois on veut renoncer ou alors s'accrocher...
    Il faut trouver un juste équilibre... La vie à deux est bien difficile, il ne faut pas se voiler la face. Il y en a toujours un qui fait plus de sacrifice que l'autre... le mieux serait d'avoir chacun sa maison...

  2. Hi Kay what an insightful and honest post, your hubby sounds like a great guy considering he fought through diabetes without being diagnosed. My mother suffers with the same thing. Oh and if anyone tells you they have a perfect marriage, they're lying.

  3. I love this post, Kay! Thanks for sharing your slice of life... You are a wise woman!!

  4. Life is strange yet always beautiful. I believe we're here to witness it and learn. Nice post.

  5. Congratulations on 32 years! I so love that you can see both sides of the coin. Probably hubby does too. I can tell that you appreciate him and the very fact that you are together is a point of pride. It is a nice security to have, knowing that he won't give up on you and vice versa. Hope he is feeling better again soon. Great post!