Today while I felt the tears coming again..yes I am on my meds again so that should help..I got the distinct impression that I should pray. Now for those who personally know me..you know that praying is not my automatic go-to choice when life gets upside down..suffice to say that living in Utah I was a convert of the prominent religion, then I unconverted (!?)to the dismay of friends and neighbors, and have been a pariah ever since..I chafe under the idea that any religion forces you to conform..so rather than get too deep into that dark side of my night..Praying is not my usual activity.
I also hate to ask for anything because if indeed there is a higher power hanging out and listening..surely he would give more apt attention to those in great need, not those like me who mess up their finances all by themselves, and get sad because life isn't all sweetness and light ( yes I know the story of the sparrow)..so I talked aloud with the idea and said "what would I ask for if I pray? Money,thinness,less knee pain,a job, someone to buy my art?" Then of course the answer practically shouted in my ear.."GIVE THANKS!"....
And you know what? That made so much sense..I began to cry..
I know, I know..I have sure been crying a lot these days...
So I am not joining a group, or getting to a nunnery, I am not less of a liberal,Democrat,weird artist..I just want to give thanks for all I have had, all I have and whatever the future brings.
So my other thought I just had was..live in the moment and be thankful for whatever that moment is holding. Old concept, nothing new here, but a timely reminder.
So if you ask what religion I prescribe to..I might tell you ..The Church of the Hairy Dog..or..the church of turps and brushes..or maybe something animist, or whatever I feel that day..my apologies to the church goers here..because I appreciate you and your prayers!
I just chafe at the order! But I think I need a new name for my "live in the moment thankfulness".
So right now I am thankful for all of you dear bloggers..a great community..